The process of knowing oneself, understanding emotions, values, abilities, and limitations is fundamental for personal development and making more conscious decisions in life. Self-awareness is a continuous, individual, and collective process, and we must not forget that we are part of a society, dependent on it for our well-being and happiness. Developing social skills necessary to interact and coexist harmoniously with others is crucial.
The number of people experiencing some type of mental suffering has been increasing every day, whether it is a short-term crisis, a more serious mental disorder, or even difficulty relating emotionally to people around them—whether in the family, at work, or within their circle of friends. This indicates that, as individuals and as a society, we are not learning some basic social skills inherent to our species. These skills once helped us face challenging situations with greater resilience and learn from them, deal with life’s natural and desirable challenges, and evolve through them.
Although we have evolved, the loss of these essential skills for constructive and healthy social interaction mainly stems from the lifestyle we have adopted through development and modernization. The increase in polarization of ideas, violence, and fear has led people to be increasingly superficial in their relationships, withdrawing into “safe spaces,” interacting and relating online, distancing themselves from daily social practices and collective exercises—such as understanding others, behavioral repertoire, learning, tolerance, self-adjustment, etc. Adults and especially children, who were not taught how to relate or deepen their relationships, lose the opportunity to learn and develop these fundamental skills through daily social interaction, and consequently miss out on the personal and social gains that come from such interaction.
The current globalized society pressures people, especially children and adolescents, to stand out quickly, achieve financial success, and show themselves victorious in life. Instant gratification and the pressure for appearance above all else are relentlessly promoted by social media, which deceptively presents a distorted worldview where success and wealth are considered fundamental for happiness and can be achieved at any cost, quickly, with little effort, and without the need for others.
The results are increasingly common—an exponential rise in mental health issues, psychological problems, crises, and social difficulties directly linked to social incompetence, intolerance towards others, excessive shyness, egocentrism, lack of the ability to interact with family members, difficulty resolving or mitigating differences in opinion, and even learning from them. This is increasingly eroding the ability to relate, achieve, and maintain a professional position because of the inability to sustain even a minimal healthy relationship with colleagues, as well as maintaining a balanced affective sexual relationship.
The loss of the ability to relate appropriately can be attributed to various factors, many of which are related to societal changes and how people currently interact:
New technologies and social media addiction: Excessive use of electronic devices and dependence on social media can isolate people in a virtual world, reducing face-to-face interaction. This can result in communication difficulties and more superficial relationships.
Accelerated lifestyle: The fast pace of modern life, with over-packed schedules and constant pressures, can make it harder for people to invest time and energy in meaningful relationships.
Lack of social skills: Some individuals may not have developed effective social skills due to past experiences, lack of opportunities to practice, or an overemphasis on online interactions over interpersonal social skills.
Excessive individualism: In some cultures, excessive individualism leads people to prioritize their own interests over interpersonal relationships, making it difficult to build and maintain healthy relationships.
Fear of rejection and vulnerability: Fear of rejection and reluctance to open up emotionally can inhibit the formation of genuine connections. The fear of being vulnerable may lead people to maintain emotional distance, and the lack or poverty of current social interactions makes people feel increasingly vulnerable to others’ judgment.
Lack of empathy: The lack of empathy can be a significant barrier to understanding and building relationships. Egocentrism and a lack of consideration for others’ feelings can damage interpersonal connections. Some individuals may face social stigmas, discrimination, or isolation, which makes active participation in social relationships difficult.
Changes in family dynamics: Changes in family structures and social dynamics can affect people’s relational abilities. This includes the increase in single-parent families, overwork by parents, and less time for family interaction. Some families serve children without teaching them the basic daily skills necessary to achieve what they want or how to build positive, healthy relationships, while children spend endless hours in front of video games with little social contact.
Increased stress and mental health issues: Chronic stress, anxiety, and other mental health problems can negatively impact communication skills and the willingness to engage in interpersonal relationships.
The lack of social skills can have several negative impacts on a person’s life:
Difficulties in relationships and social isolation: The inability to communicate effectively, assertively express emotions, or deal with conflicts can lead to problematic relationships and social isolation. People with limited social skills may withdraw or be pushed away by others, feeling isolated and facing difficulties in making new friends or participating in social groups.
Difficulties resolving conflicts: Inability to resolve conflicts constructively can lead to prolonged tension and strain in relationships.
Problems in the workplace: In the professional environment, the lack of social skills can hinder collaboration, effective communication, and limit opportunities for relationships, collaboration, and career advancement.
Mental health problems: Difficulty coping with social situations can contribute to the development of mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem and confidence.
It is important to actively work on strengthening social skills and the ability to build meaningful relationships. This may involve practices such as developing social skills, assertiveness in expression and communication, awareness of the proper and moderate use of technologies, seeking psychological support when necessary, and promoting a culture that values human connection. We must emphasize that it is not only desirable, but essential to interact socially and adapt to the current world. We are part of a society, and the more we withdraw from others, the fewer skills we will develop. A lack of social interaction leads to the weakening of necessary brain functions for good mental health. Much will be lost—not only the inability to communicate, express, or approach others, but also organic and neurofunctional losses.
Learning the necessary skills to feel, cope with difficult situations, create a positive and reinforcing lifestyle where possible suffering can be prevented, and dealing constructively with inevitable suffering is essential, especially in early childhood. When this does not happen properly, we become dysfunctional adults, with a damaged sense of direction, behaving inadequately and often unaware of how this occurs.
Without clarity on our feelings, limits, and needs, we cannot communicate properly. Disconnecting from ourselves, we create inadequate ways of behaving, to which we become accustomed over life, indifferent to it, surviving on a confusing path of painful repetitions.
The best way would be to help children and young people, through their families, support network, or a psychology professional, gain greater self-awareness and self-knowledge. When dysfunctional behavior is already established, especially in adults, psychotherapy can help them understand and act on their dysfunctional behaviors, change deeply ingrained habits, and promote greater well-being for themselves and those around them.
The pursuit of self-awareness offers many benefits to the individual, being a continuous journey that provides numerous benefits for quality of life, interpersonal relationships, personal success, and emotional well-being:
Higher self-awareness: Knowing yourself involves being aware of your thoughts, emotions, values, abilities, weaknesses, and behaviors. This awareness allows you to better understand how you react to different situations and how your actions affect others.
More assertive decision-making: Self-knowledge helps you make more informed decisions. By understanding your motivations, goals, and values, you can make choices aligned with your true essence, leading to more rewarding and meaningful decisions.
Healthier relationships: Knowing yourself is essential for building healthy relationships. It allows you to communicate your needs, understand others’ needs, and set effective boundaries. Authentic and deeply connected relationships are often built on a foundation of mutual self-knowledge.
Personal growth: Self-awareness is essential for personal growth. By identifying areas for improvement, you can actively work on developing new skills and overcoming challenges. This creates a continuous journey of self-development and improvement in both personal and professional life.
Stress management: Understanding your reactions to stress and identifying sources of stress allows you to develop effective strategies for dealing with life’s pressures. This can include practicing stress management techniques such as meditation, physical exercise, or other activities that promote emotional balance.
Self-acceptance: Self-awareness leads to self-acceptance. Recognizing your positive qualities and accepting your imperfections creates a solid foundation for building healthy self-esteem. This does not mean accepting yourself as you are but actively dealing with your mistakes and developing to become a better person every day.
Clear goals: By knowing your values and passions, you can set goals aligned with what is truly important to you. This increases motivation and the likelihood of achieving these goals and finding fulfillment.
Adapting to changes: In a constantly changing world, self-awareness allows you to adapt more easily to changes. Knowing how you react to change and understanding your resilience abilities can be valuable in transition situations. The more mentally flexible you are, the less difficulty you will have adapting to situations and keeping up with changes in the world.
The pursuit of self-awareness is closely linked to the development of social skills, which refer to a set of behaviors, attitudes, and competencies that allow a person to interact effectively with others in different social contexts. These skills play a crucial role in building and maintaining healthy, successful relationships:
Effective communication: Expressing thoughts, feelings, and ideas clearly and assertively, as well as listening attentively to others.
Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, demonstrating understanding and consideration for their viewpoints, even when in disagreement.
Conflict resolution: The ability to handle conflicts constructively, seeking solutions that benefit both parties involved.
Assertiveness: Expressing opinions, needs, and desires directly and respectfully, without being aggressive or passive.
Collaboration: Working effectively in groups, contributing to common goals, and respecting others’ contributions.
Emotional self-control: Managing emotions in a healthy way, avoiding impulsive reactions and harmful behaviors.
Ability to start and maintain conversations: Being able to start and maintain a conversation naturally and pleasantly.
Respect for differences: Accepting and respecting the diversity of thoughts, cultures, and perspectives.
Developing self-awareness and social skills is a continuous process that requires time and dedication. Seeking guidance and support from a psychology professional can enrich your personal, social, and professional life.
